Oh What a night...

heartbreak... its tough. Mine is no tougher than yours... but it feels harder, it feels like it was worse. It wasn't any different. Hearts break. Hearts mend. Its the people affected by heart break that are different. Some people are stronger within themselves, they want to make it through. Some people just can't see past the hurt. Can't see past the potential for more hurt. They're willing to sacrifice the good, because of the hypothetical hurt.

One day I talk about hypothetical babies... the next day I talk about heartbreak. That's the life course we're on right. That's our path. Its a bumpy hilly ride.

one thing I often forget about is my self-worth. Tricky subject... big word? maybe. Certainly complicated.

One thing I forget about is what's the big deal?

I don't know how to have fun anymore... I'm sometimes so scared with the results of me cutting loose. Saying what I really mean.

Hear-ache doesn't go away... it doesn't get less confusing. It doesn't get easier. I am lost in my own head. I'm not sure if I'll ever surface. I'm not sure how I lost myself... I don't know where I went. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know what just happened. I do know that I'm sad, I'm confused, I'm lonely, I'm embarrassed, I'm scared... I feel tired.

I'm not drunk. I'm emotional. I'm torn between crawling into bed, sleeping away my confusion... or going out and trying to forget it. Both cases I think I'll end up right where I am.

Alone. Asleep.