Death by chicken wing...?

The last chicken wing sat there next to the chemical washed carrots. He pushed it aside to reach for last of the seasoned curly’s.
I thought to myself:

“self, he doesn’t’ want that last wing, self, I would like that last wing.”

So I reached for it… don’t worry, before my fingers even touched the deep, fried, flesh, I asked

“You don’t mind, do you?”

….”Of course not” he replied


I ate that last wing. It was delicious. Probably had a handful of seasoned curly’s and one piece of pizza. I felt good. Satisfied.

He insisted, that the last three pieces of the pizza would get lonely if they didn’t join their friends, already in his belly. Oh and the rest of the seasoned curly’s would be lonely too, so they had to go in there too. The food coma was already hitting him before he’d finished chewing the last bite. His eye’s rolled back into his head and he began to drool.

I told him:
“next time, I’m going to stop you.” “Next time I’m not going to order so much food.” “Next time this isn’t going to be an option.”

But I don’t want to get between him and his seasoned curly’s… its bad enough I took the last chicken wing.

He threatened death by Chicken Wing if I were to do anything so drastic as get between him and his four pack. No one would know.

He would give Wicket a wedgie (cheese bread), he'd never tell. "No officer, I didn't see a thing you see, well I was looking to my left when the incident happened and you see its all a bit blury"... as he licks the cheeze of his cute little pushed in nose.

His story would be something like this: "She stole the last wing officer. Just grabbed it. I went to get it back, and BAM, neck punch. I was so taken aback that I of course let her take the wing. I am a gentleman afterall. Then I was sitting there, minding my own business, when out of nowhere, she closes the pizza box and says 'NO MORE FOR YOU' and I was all like 'Whaaaat?!?!' But all of my pizza friends need to be reunited with all of their other pizza friends... in my belly... why aren't the allowed in my belly" So then she neck punched me again for talking back. I didn't think I had any other choice, the half eaten chicken wing was the only weapon of self-defence available officer... yea I said half eaten.... I know... who takes the last freaking wing... then yeah... yeah I know THE LAST WING! HALF EATEN.... so you totally understand then officer, I had to stab her with the chicken wing. There really wasn't any other option."


Death by Chicken Wing? Who knew....