I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready.

I had an excellent time at the concert last night, and I will discuss that in detail later… first I have something weighing on my mind from yesterday’s folk-fest discussions with Vin.

You may not know this about me, but I am living a cell-phone free life right now. I’m not against them, I just don’t have one. It’s not a statement, a cry for help, or some sort of revolution. I just don’t have one. I seem to be getting along just fine without one, so why do need one?

When I tell people who don’t know me very well that I don’t have a cell phone, they look at me completely dumfounded. A cell phone has become such a huge part of their life, that they just can’t understand how someone would a) not have a cell phone and b) not want one.

Bex, my roommate, doesn’t have one either. Her reasons are different than mine. She is intimidated by technology, and downright scared of buttons. She still listens to tapes, rocks a walkman, doesn’t have email, doesn’t drive a car and has never heard of a blog (until I made her read mine the other day). She’s recently figured out how to use my computer, to watch DVD’s, it was a huge step for her. Until she moved in with me she’d never even watched a DVD… but when her VHS player crapped out, and our monster of a television developed a flickering screen, she has been forced to use my computer. Her directions on how to turn on the computer and use the DVD player have been written on a post-it note that she keeps on the coffee table, just in case.
Aaaaand I digress. The point is, I live in a very supportive environment for no cell phone usage.

I’ve had a cell phone in the past.
I bought my first mobile telephone when I first lived in Tasmania, Australia, in 2005. I bought it for myself as a Christmas present, so my family could get a hold of me. I think my mom was more excited about me getting a cell phone than I was, it meant she didn’t have to wait for weeks to hear if I was still alive.

I didn’t mind having a cell phone then. It was convenient. Although in Tassie, there is rarely phone service when you need it, and no one calls anyone that much. We all just met up in the pub and took it from there… so I didn’t grow dependent.

I initially got a phone when I first came back to Canada in 2007, but it was for driving. I kept it in the car; it was a pay as you go. I never used it, and I eventually lost it.

So here I am. After that long winded, winding track of an explanation. It is 2010. I am twenty six years strong. I am cell phone free.

It is not because I am scared of buttons, and its not that it wouldn’t be convenient. When people ask me why I don’t have one, I always say:

“its not that I don’t want one, I do. It’s just that you try living off of 300 dollars a week, and that includes rent and everything. It’s tough. I just don’t have 100 dollars a month to spare, cuz you know if I got a phone it would have to an Iphone, and I would have a data plan….”

Proving I know about phones and saying I want one usually works at getting then to change the subject.

But for real? Straight truthing? I don’t have a phone because I’m scared of being that connected all the time. I like my time-outs. I like to disappear for a few hours and not have anyone be able to find me, track me, call me… or expect to be able to call me, track me, find me. When you don’t have a phone, that expectation drops away. I’m scared that I’ll loose a part of me if I become committed to a phone. I’m scared that a little piece of me will get lost in the translation of emoticons, acronyms, and texting.

When I’m bored, waiting for my bus, I think about my day, I watch the people around me, I read the newspaper, the billboards, the litter on the ground. I listen to the sounds around me and I feel connected to my environment. My hands do not fidget, I do not immediately stuff my hands in my purse, and my pocket isn’t buzzing. I feel engaged, not pre-occupied. Some of the best idea’s I’ve had for stories, papers and researching, have come from bus rides. I think, if I had a phone, if I was texting or chatting, would I have come up with those same ideas?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m connected. I’m obviously not scared of technology. I have my Facebook, my new little bloggy, my laptop, my wireless internet…. No television, but that’s a whole other story.

I’m just drawing the line with cell phones. I’m Ok with it. I’m happy with my decision and I will re-evaluate in the future. In the meantime, I’ll be that weird girl at your bus stop not avoiding eye contact, the one not rushing out for the next Iphone, the next app, or the next gadget. I’m the one who receives text to landline messages you send. The one who still uses payphones or the one who may ask to borrow your cell phone for a quick second to call a cab, a ride or a friend… I’m not perfect, cell phones are convenient, and I see their purpose… But I’m not ready for one yet, and I hope you understand.