I can't stop the truth.
Why do deep thoughts plague me like an incurable disease?
Why do I need to self-evaluate?
Why do I need to put every little thing under a micro-scope, figure out what’s wrong with it, then try and fix it?
Why do I need to think about the future? Why is it compulsive?
Why can’t I just let life be? Let life tick tick tick along…? Why can’t I just settle into a happy little life on the prairies? No need to worry about tomorrow. Right? No need to think about next week. Right? No need to get all worked up over something that hasn’t happened, probably isn’t going to happen, maybe never will happen. Right?
I have never stayed in one spot for more that two years since I moved out of my parent’s house. I have never held down a job without taking some sort of leave of absence, or extended holiday for longer than 2 years… but that was in high school. I have never settled down. I have always planned for the next adventure. I’ve always moved on, moved up or moved over. I’ve never settled…
This is the longest I have lived anywhere besides the house my parents lived in, in Forest Lawn. This is the longest I’ve been employed straight thru in a real job. This is the longest I’ve gone without an adventure lasting more than a month. This is longest I’ve gone without packing my backpack.
I think I’m going stir crazy. Cabin fever. I can feel my internal engine running. I am loosing it. I’m going to burst.
Am I going to run away?
Or can I stay...................................................................?
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