“Congratulations, neither of you settled...”

How come wedding cards are so lame?

“Congratulations on your special day”

“The two of you were made for each other”

“Wishing you a lifetime of happiness”

Why can't we be a little more honest, a little more sincere, genuine, truthful, beautiful?

1)“Congratulations, neither of you settled...”

2)“I can't wait to get shit-faced with you both, thanks for putting on this rad party!”

3)“I'm not sure what love is, but I like what you got and I'm looking for it”

4)“You looked so hot today, he must be really stoked”

5)“I think you two kids are going to make beautiful babies.”


.... much better.

I guess that's why some cards are blank inside....

Congratulations Lee and Shera, you give tall women and short men hope for the future. Lines 1 through 5 apply to you. But the lame card I got you says “Wishing you a lifetime of happy moments....”